And even in states where next of kin can legally make an end-of-life decision for someone, a living will can at least let you know what your parents want.

"To recognize the petitioner as a de facto parent, in order that he may participate in a medical end-of-life decision for the child, is unthinkable."

While families often seem to pull together when dealing with treatable illnesses, they often splinter over an end-of-life decision, experts say.

"So much of the way people think about end-of-life decisions is a moving target," said Dr. Steele of the Eastern Maine Medical Center.

Chief Justice Roberts's vote ran counter to some of the statements he made during his confirmation hearing, suggesting that the court should stay out of "end-of-life" decisions, Mrs. Feinstein said.

To the Editor: Working in the area of end-of-life medical decisions myself, I found your Nov. 22 front-page article on how doctors ignore patients' last wishes informative yet incomplete.

Communication with health care providers and family members is an important part of making end-of-life decisions.

If your disease is getting worse, you may want to think about making end-of-life decisions.

The person you appoint through a medical power of attorney usually is authorized to deal with all medical situations, not only end-of-life decisions when you cannot speak for yourself.

In fact, referring to this end-of-life decision as "suicide" distances us from "those" who are stricken.