What real detective, we wonder, really solves cases with a magnifying glass?

"And just when you were supposed to teach me how to be a real detective, street smart."

And a real detective like me-" The thought was too much for him.

"I'm going to have to do an end run around her and get a real detective so this doesn't get screwed up."

"Could one of you please get a real detective here?"

So what would a real detective do now?

"Gee, we'd like to know how to be real detectives," said Rick.

Play - acting half the time and thinking he's a real detective.

Gee, lady, you sure are a real detective and all.

"Then you get something like this where you need to be a real detective."